the lack of integration

Have you ever wondered why the same shit continues to bubble up, smacking you in the face-year after year. The tickle of the same old patterns tripping you up in exactly the same ways they always have and still you don't "understand why?" A lot of the time, these patterns are unconscious, and so, continually get swept under the veil of 'the-shit-we-don't-want-to-look-at-because-it's-uncomfortable.' Sound familiar?

We wear this veil thinking it will serve our greater good, sacred shitless of what would happen dare we take it off. Not for one second do we think about WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF WE WOULD TAKE IT OFF! It's the same concept, just said under a different light and perspective. This slight-of-hand in the delivery of information to our own selves is where the magic happens; we get out of the way of ourselves.

We have been in the way of ourselves our entire lives. This stings. In a society where excuses and lack of personal responsibility are elusive, this is a HUGE TRIGGER to your shit. This is where I do not apologize. We give our power and control away in ways we don't even understand, but it is in the discomforts of seeing our shit arise, that we can deal with it, look at it, and INTEGRATE what it is that we are consciously/subconsciously rejecting from our authentic self. This integrative process is the pulling of the plug in the energies of our triggers. Once what is rejected from our authentic self is indeed interwoven into the trappings of our authenticity, we no longer will become provoked by triggers that are actually neutral and meaningless 'things' until our placed definition and meaning onto them calls these 'mattered things' into our mental focus. Just like inertia, our energy will continue to feed this 'mattered business,' a path known to us consciously or subconsciously.

This is why we keep things hidden-IT HURTS and takes accountability, and WORK to do something about our discomforts. If we allowed all of these hidden pieces, these unintegrated pieces of us to flow freely into the open gates of our consciousness, we would drown in their wake. We are essentially a bunch of adult children, trying to integrate what was cut off from our authenticity, per imprinting and felt-perception, at a young age. During the natural progression from baby to now-self, it all started with emotions, and ends in emotions. First, we learned to cry and express through emotions. The next phase ensue happened when we reached the milestone of seven years of age, it was time to grow up- cue the mental capacity development through education. The final phase hits at puberty. We are in the physical development of ourself. However, there is no interrogation of these stages. It's almost as though we stop one thing to carry onto the next thing, and once we hit adulthood, somewhere in there, we are like fish out of water in the understanding of our emotional selves- given up somewhere back there.

This veil is just that, a facade we have used to grow up to what is acceptable in our adult human suit, but underneath there is a land waiting to be explored. Only when we step outside of the veil that keeps our darkness safe from the light - hides ourselves from ourselves- keeps us stuck - continues the cycle of pain and unsurving paradigms alive - only then, are we able to begin the integration process into an emotionally complete, triggerless, integrated  adult human, being, in this world.